Ms. Meanhead Day Two

I'm halfway through Tuesday lessons and I'm trying to keep up my meanstreak where it's due.

My first lesson was nice and the kids liked my review game, so in turn I my head spiraled 180 degrees to Ms. Niceface. We accomplished a lot and even had time for an activity at the end.

The next class of kids didn't move from their congregation outside in the hall and looked to be eating lunch at 8:55 in the morning. I'll never get over the Hungarian pastime of eating sandwiches as snacks all day long. They didn't move even when I beckoned them inside my room and they started shifting only when another teacher started yelling at them to get up. This is the class that stole my dice. We no longer play games. Instead we will do worksheets from here on out. I sat at my desk and graded other papers and got up occasionally to help everyone. Towards the end, the kids got disruptive and I immediately flew to the door and threatened to boot any kid out if I felt like it in a "come on, just do it again...do it again!!" fashion. I also told a girl that I didn't "damn well care if she ever felt like coming to my lesson again, because I'd rather not see her face." Whew. What happened to me?

The third lesson was a group of sixth graders. Their English teacher came in and asked me what I was going to do with them. I told her that I had a description lesson planned. She said, "okay, but can you do a little bit with films and have them write a film review?" I said, okay sure. I'll do half and half. So I began with films and attempted to be more strict, but it's really hard to be strict when no one understands English. You have to yell and gesture maniacally and the migraine medication that I took that morning had left me dozy and foggy, so I couldn't muster up the desire to yell.

When I told them to write the film review, they all said that their English teacher, the same one who had told me to have them write it, gave it to them for homework. They showed me the film reviews and they looked finished and beautiful...unlike their homework for me. So, I decided to move onto my activity, but they didn't understand and it took 10 more minutes of explaining that we weren't doing the film review anymore. The lesson I planned was completely ruined because of....well a lot of things.

I'm tired of this and my next two lessons are with little kids who cry when you don't call on them.

Yes, this has been quite a rant, but isn't the point of ranting getting it off your chest?

At least I'm not entirely alone. When I tell my colleagues about my troubles, they say, "we're having the same problems." One was quoted with saying, "I cannot WAIT until this school year is OVER."

Teaching: An Act of Survival

Today is Shakespeare's birthday and reportedly the day he died. How old would he be now??? And would he still be able to come up with all kinds of original plays??

I just came back from a delightful run around Margaret Island surrounded by the sparkling Danube and my mind is racing.

Many people wonder why one runs for fun. I have a few reasons, but the one I'd like to elaborate on now is that it allows not only my body to move, but my mind as well. My thoughts travel to places all over the board, giving me new ideas. And when you've just finished running, you feel good about yourself and are more willing to try out new ideas...especially when it comes to teaching.

Today I was Ms. Meanhead for lack of a more profane term. Maybe I did it for Shakespeare, or maybe I just did it for myself. For my survival.

I cared once. And now, I just don't. I've been a teacher for almost three years now and I've never not cared this much. Over the months, I've come to know myself as a teacher and now I can confidently tell you that I just don't have the patience for middle school children who are "waaaaay too cool for school." For one, I'd just like to know what makes them so cool that they can transcend every lesson.

Those I care for are those who want to learn. Yes, this is probably what many teachers will say. But there are many teachers out there who can find a way to teach all kinds of children and come out successful. I don't know how they do it and I'm in awe of those individuals.

Getting back to not caring. There wasn't an official day I'd say that I stopped caring cold turkey. It happened gradually, like a lot of things of this nature end. And let me make it clear: I still care about teaching and future students that I'll have, but I've stopped caring about the school I'm at now.

I got sick of coming home and running out my anger, anger at myself for not being more strict in class and letting kids walk over me.

Today I was pissed off and mean and yelled and pointed and stared down children and insulted them in reallyfastEnglish, ordered them out in the hall, up to the teacher's room and gave out tests.

Today, I didn't have any anger to run off. Instead, my run was pleasant. I didn't think about school and how I want to throw Vivien's god**&%$ mobile phone out the window. I didn't think about tearing Eszter's MP3 player out of her ears and into the trash bin. I didn't think about my incompetent contact teacher. And I didn't think about kids trying to get under my skin.

I thought about the things in my life right now that make me happy and enjoyed the extra warm April afternoon, even though it's probably a little warmer than usual due to global warming.

Now, I'm not saying that what I'm doing in the classroom is right, but it worked for me today and that's what teaching is all about. Finding something that works to survive.

If these kids only knew that I'm learning so much more than they are.

But then again, they probably would rather brush their hair or pretend they're doing cocaine with candy powder instead.

Sacred Saturday...

...is no longer so this weekend. Today, I had to teach my Monday lessons this morning and even though they were only 30 minutes long and we just played Bingo and Yahtzee, I still had to endure their strings of obscenities in Hungarian, attempts to hide earbuds blasting music, and their inability to understand that if they lowered their voices about six decibels, I would still be able to hear them perfectly fine.

Some of my students did not understand why they were in school on a Saturday. Now, if I had to go to school on my calendar reserved day off, then I'd be asking some questions. By working on Saturday, we can have a four day weekend the following weekend as the next Tuesday is May Day, the 1st of May and a holiday. So instead of working that Monday, we had our Monday lessons today.

And as I have every other Friday off, I get a five day weekend, almost another spring holiday. I'm going to take advantage of the nice weather and head to Slovenia.

As for now, I'm off to enjoy the remainder of my "weekend."

A Spring Kidnapping

I've been away from the blog for a while and I blame it on the incredibly beautiful weather we've been having here.

These past weeks, you would have found me...

1) lunching and hiking in Godollo visiting my friend Magdi and her family. Unfortunately, her 12 year old son, Zsolti unknowingly informed me who dies in Harry Potter 5 and 6 before I even cracked either books. At least I'm prepared.

2) frequenting many cafes enjoying the sun.

3) strolling, reading, and frisbeeing on Margaret Island.

4) laughing at a woman walking a waddling goose on a leash across Arpad bridge.

5) eating the first ice cream of the season.

6) visiting Szentendre on Easter with Aran and taking a boat down the Danube home.

7) taking my old train to Szerencs to visit an old colleague, walking around a wine village and enjoying her parents Hungarian cooking and home-made bread.

8) getting my haircut FINALLY!